Friday, September 3, 2010

Scotland on Rape - "No, Not Ever"

A scene of a party. A pale blond woman in her 20s stands talking to two men, one pale and one with darker skin. She wears a black top and sparkly blue skirt, and all parties hold drinks in their hands and appear to be having a good time.

Woman: (laughing playfully) You’re terrible! (laughs) You’re so bad! Shut up!

Cut to two presumably white men across the room.

Man One: (looks at woman, sucks in air between his teeth) Check out the skirt! She’s asking for it.

Man Two: (laughs)

Cut to scene of the same woman in a department store. She pulls two skirts off the rack, one the sparkly blue skirt she wears at the party, and takes turns holding up each one to her hips. A sales assistant, a pale middle-aged woman, walks up to her.

Sales Assistant: Can I help?

Woman: Yeah, thanks. I’m going out tonight and I want to get raped. (smiles) I need a skirt that will encourage a guy to have sex with me against my will. (holds up each skirt again)

Sales Assistant: (smiles eagerly and folds arms across chest) The blue one. Definitely the blue.

Woman: (nods and smiles)

Woman turns and directly faces camera, with a sarcastic look on her face.

Woman: As if.

Male Voiceover: Nobody asks to be raped. Ever.
more at The Curvature

Women Must Prevent Rape - NOT!!!

When it comes to popular messages about sexual violence, many of us are treated to a (un)healthy dose of fear – in the guise of awareness and self-protection. You know the drill: don’t walk alone; don’t drink too much; avoid certain streets; be wary of strangers. . . the list goes on. One of the troubling things about these messages is the way they imply that one just needs street smarts and savvy to prevent sexual assault. (Another problematic aspect of these messages is the way they shift attention away from the fact that the majority of assaults are perpetrated by a victim’s acquaintance, friend, or partner; these ubiquitous stay-safe tips don’t mean much when it comes to people you already believe you should trust. Then there’s the fact that plenty of folks don’t have the option of not, say, commuting to and from work late at night or avoiding areas where they might be vulnerable to crime.) Moreover, the notion that we can reliably prevent being assaulted dovetails neatly with victim-blaming after the fact: “she/he really shouldn’t gone out there without a friend”; “it probably wouldn’t have happened if she/he hadn’t been drinking to excess”; “what was she/he thinking, going to a party in that neighborhood”
"Protect Yourself?"

Sharron Angle UGH

Sharron Angle, the Nebraska Nevada Republican Senate candidate who recently made headlines when a radio interview was unearthed in which she opposed legal abortion even in case of rape/incest because "God has a plan" (and your assault is part of it), has caught media attention again for her advice to 13-year-old incest victims to just make lemons into lemonade.

The Huffington Post reports that, during an interview on the conservative Alan Stock Show, Angle was asked what she would say to a 13-year-old incest victim who became pregnant by her father's rape. Angle's response? She says she counsels teenagers facing "very at risk, difficult pregnancies" to just look about for alternatives, and when they do, "they found that they had made what was really a lemon situation into lemonade."

I don't think "lemon situation" accurately describes the unfathomable situation of a young girl who has been raped and impregnated by her own father — a situation that would be made even worse if Angle had her way and the girl was subjected by law to forced pregnancy. Angle's flippant, clich├ęd comparison shows how out-of-touch she is. You can survive a traumatic situation, move on with your life, but that doesn't make child rape a "lemons into lemonade" situation. There is no "upside" to being raped as a child, especially by your own father.
"Raped by Dad? Just Turn Lemons Into Lemonade!"

Effects of Street Harassment

We have recently moved to a big city. My sixteen year old daughter is afraid of taking public transportation, which I had THOUGHT would be so liberating for her after four years stuck in a tiny town, because of the way men treat her on the street.
And it is a big deal, it’s a big thing. Don’t minimize it. What, are we just supposed to accept that we have breasts and asses for the purpose of immature men to ogle at and touch without asking? Is that supposed to be something that’s just ‘okay’ with us because ‘that’s the way it is’? Fuck no. I’m not asking the moon and stars here.
"Why Even Street Sexual Harassment is Hard to Get Over"

The Lady With the Answers

For years, I have struggled in a bad marriage, trying to stick it out because I believed morality and ethics required it. Even if he never stuck to HIS vows, I felt obliged to stick to mine. This piece is quite liberating for me.
An obligation, rather than a choice. Who you spend the majority of your time with, who you are legally bound to, who it is very difficult and time-consuming and stressful for you to become un-bound to, is an obligation. You HAVE to stay in it, because it’s fucking difficult to get out. Marriage is something like a tarpit, but when you want to escape, society bands around you, holding sticks and pushing your head back under. You’re a FAILURE if you want to get out of a marriage. You FAILED the system, dude. You got MARRIED, remember? Ever after? ‘Til death do us part’? Those were YOUR words, you chose (haha) to say them. NO TAKE-BACKS. Sorry! What, you want to change your mind? That ain’t allowed! You’re OBLIGED now, muthafucker! We got you GOOD! Hey, we had someone recording the whole thing! And you signed! With your own hands! We got a signature, and a photo of you making it, and you look pretttty fucking happy about the whole thing. Who spends a year planning something they’re just gonna back out of a few years later? A LOSER that’s who. Do you want to be a loser? Nah…didn’t think so…get back in your tarpit and we’ll speak of this to no more.
"Infinite Relationships; Obligations"

Love This

Love this!

Via the Carnival Against Sexual Violence:
These are all fairly minor events but they each illustrate this assumption that men believe it is okay for them to touch a woman, to grip her hands, to pressure her into going with them to wherever they want to go. This sort of mentality, that of control, is the first step, the beginnings of the idea that men should be able to tell women what to do, they should be allowed sex, they should have access to women’s bodies whenever they want.
more at

"So I'm Pretty. That Doesn't Obligate me to Sleep With You"