NOLA radfem blog

things New Orleans; things radical, feminist, political; about PTSD, abuse, recovery

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation

Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation

Wonderful article on emotional abuse.
Posted by NOLA radfem at 2:51 AM
Labels: abuse, feminism, health, masculinity

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"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman

Instant Giggle Video Pick-Me-Ups - Kids are Funny

  • giggling baby
  • three year old on monsters
  • sisters trio for Obama
"Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself. Perhaps I should advise would-be enemies to send me their grievances beforehand, with full assurance that they will receive my every aid and support. I have even secretly longed to write, under a pen name, a merciless tirade against myself."--- Jorge Luis Borges, (autobiographical essay, 1970).

posts from my own blog (favorites / original)

  • For Memorial Day - The Promise
  • Yale Sex Week
  • Living While Female
  • "They" Aren't Supposed to Live in the "White" House, Right?
  • What Katrina Taught Me
  • Grandma - Real Beauty
  • Finding Good Stuff
  • Solidarity
  • Gender Flipping the Commercials
  • Harassed - Well, I Did Stay at a Holiday Inn Last Night
  • Memo to Sax and Gurian (single-sex public education)
  • The Very Self-Indulgent Fortieth Birthday Post
  • My Post to Men Who Use Prostitutes
  • A Modest Request of Cheating Husbands
  • Obama Video Collection
  • Payne
  • Addressing the "Issue" of my Middle Name
  • Mission Accomplished - Making Obama "Black"
  • Call me a Drum Major for Peace
  • To White Women For Hillary Threatening to Vote McCain - Tim Wise
  • Best Hurricane Katrina Video Ever - IT'S ABOUT HOME



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COMMENTS POLICY

click here for my full comments policy:
Here's the short version. This blog is strictly anti-porn, anti-trafficking, anti- any and all forms of dominance and hierarchy. I won't publish any pro-porn comments. I've lived that life, and I'm done with it; my significant other is in treatment for sexual addiction. I used to make all of the same pro-porn arguments. Now I've changed my mind because I've learned about the harm caused - but, believe me, I know the arguments. And the pro-porn arguments are EVERYWHERE, utterly dominating public discourse. With this blog, I'm carving out my own tiny space in the world where women like me can be heard and feel safe.

Teal Heart Award for Victims of Sexual Violence

It's like the "purple heart" award, but for those of us injured in the the war on women

Teal Heart Award logo

Oh, my New Orleans

Times are not good here. The city is crumbling into ashes. It has been buried under a lava flood of taxes and frauds and maladministrations so that it has become only a study for archaeologists. ...But it is better to live here in sackcloth and ashes, than to own the whole state of Ohio.
--Lafcadio Hearn, 1879


Blog Archive

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    • ►  February (7)
  • ▼  2010 (42)
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    • ►  March (16)
    • ▼  February (17)
      • Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on TED...
      • I Wonder How Much Laundry the Average Team USA Dad...
      • Cupcakes for Men. No, Seriously. Cupcakes for Men.
      • Making Hate Fun: Facebook users continue to joke e...
      • Pam's House Blend:: Federal Appeals Court: Louisia...
      • The Opinuary Column
      • Homosexualists Over The Wire
      • Want!
      • Womanist Musings
      • Defying adversity, wherever we are: a guest column...
      • Drew Brees as Bacchus
      • Economic Scene - Success of Stimulus Bill Is Notew...
      • Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation
      • "Shaming and Blaming"
      • Sam Cooke and the Saints!
      • Great Mardi Gras Indian stuff
      • What Have we Learned Today?
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    • ►  February (86)
    • ►  January (22)
"Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us."
---Andrea Dworkin

tags

  • abortion (5)
  • abuse (17)
  • advertising (21)
  • anti-porn (20)
  • art (1)
  • Chris Rose (1)
  • crime (39)
  • education (31)
  • feminism (97)
  • food (1)
  • health (11)
  • homophobia (12)
  • humor (24)
  • Katrina (23)
  • Mardi Gras (10)
  • marriage (1)
  • masculinity (60)
  • media (10)
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  • NOLA music (6)
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  • parenting (10)
  • poetry (7)
  • politics (81)
  • porn (7)
  • prostitution (6)
  • PTSD (8)
  • racism (15)
  • rape (23)
  • recovery (4)
  • religion (18)
  • right-wing (27)
  • South (1)
  • sports (6)
  • unions (5)
  • violence (17)
  • war (7)

I'm Not a Feminist But...

I'm not a feminist but...

I appreciate the right to help choose my government representatives.

I enjoy the option of wearing pants or shorts if I want.

I'm pleased that I was allowed to read and write.

It can be very convenient to control how many babies I want to have.

It's awfully useful to be able to open a bank account and own property in my own name.

I like knowing that my husband or boyfriend can not legally beat me and that my husband can not legally rape me.

It's really swell to keep the money that I earn.

Why aren't you a feminist again???


CURRENT MOON


moon phases

radical feminist (or not) blogs

  • abyss2hope (Marcella)
  • against pornography (Maggie Hays)
  • angry for a reason (lost clown)
  • anti-pornography activist
  • any body (great - body size)
  • beyond feminism
  • black and missing but not forgotten
  • buried alive (Pisaquaririse)
  • carnival of radical feminists
  • code pink
  • dead men don't rape (Arantxa)
  • demonista
  • dykes to watch out for
  • European Women's Lobby
  • feminazi (M Andrea)
  • feminist law professors
  • feminist philosophers
  • feminist reprise (Amy's Brain)
  • feminist white noise
  • feministe
  • feministing
  • feminists with disabilities
  • finally, feminism 101
  • genderberg
  • girl w/ pen
  • going gray
  • gorgon poisons / allecto
  • hecate
  • hell on hairy legs
  • holla back talk
  • how the university works
  • hoyden about town (tigtog)
  • i blame the patriarchy (twisty)
  • laurelin
  • law and letters
  • littoral mermaid
  • love fraud (sociopaths)
  • maoist orange cake
  • menstrual poetry (Holly)
  • Mia Culpa
  • michelle obama watch
  • newcow (polly)
  • Not Under The Bus (Campaign for Women's Health Care)
  • off our backs
  • one angry girl
  • one tenacious baby mamma
  • one woman, many truths (Prudence)
  • ornamenting away
  • our bodies our blog
  • packaging girlhood
  • pam's house blend
  • Pam's House Blend Election 2008 Hate Collection
  • pandagon
  • pennyred
  • pinko feminist hellcat
  • psychopathy awareness
  • radical goddess thealogy
  • radical women
  • rage against the machine (nine deuce)
  • rychousmama (lara)
  • second waver
  • shakespeare's sister
  • shut up sit down (anji)
  • sister song - women of color for reprodutive rights
  • sparkle*matrix
  • spinning sisters
  • starfish
  • Starhawk.org
  • StopPornCulture
  • sublimely ridiculous
  • sum of change productions
  • survivor of rape and incest
  • the curvature (cara)
  • the female stain
  • the muffia
  • this ain't living' (meloukhia)
  • trailer park feminist
  • unconventional beauty
  • uppity biscuit
  • what about our daughters
  • what tami said
  • witchy woo
  • women's space (heart)
  • xy men
  • yes means yes

On Liberal Men

“For the last 30 years and more, I have watched liberals in America…try to repackage pornography and prostitution as a hip and groovy thing, a liberating thing, something novel and progressive and good for us all, men and women alike. Allegedly Leftist, Progressive men declare their loyalty (both as customers and partisans) to one of the biggest and most exploitative sweatshop industries of them all. Men who would not be caught dead wearing Reeboks or Nikes, or drinking Starbucks coffee, can still kid themselves into thinking Larry Flynt is some kind of People's Hero.”
--D.A. Clarke in "Not For Sale"

Herstory and Amazing Women

  • African American Women Writers
  • Alix Olson
  • Andrea Dworkin
  • Andrea Gibson
  • Barbara Kingsolver
  • Barbra Streisand
  • bell hooks
  • Diana Russell
  • Diana Russell's "Against Pornography" (pdf)
  • Emma Goldman papers
  • Gender Equality Films
  • INCITE (women of color against violence)
  • Joy Harjo
  • Judy Chicago
  • Justice for the New Jersey 4
  • Lucinda Williams
  • Mary Daly
  • National Museum for Women in the Arts
  • National Woman's Party
  • National Women's Hall of Fame
  • National Women's History Museum
  • Nikki Craft
  • NoPornNorthampton
  • Octavia Butler
  • Organization of Women's Freedom in Iraq
  • Redstockings
  • Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan
  • Robin Morgan
  • Starhawk
  • Uppity Blues Women
  • Women Helping Women
  • Women Outreaching Women
  • Women's Security Council
  • Z Budapest
"Criticizing pornography doesn't mean you're anti-sex any more than criticizing McDonald's means you're anti-food." - Gail Dines

Pornography and Sex Addiction Support

  • COSA (for family members)
  • Quiz - Are you a Sex Addict?
  • Sex Addicts Anonymous (12 step program)
  • through the flame
  • What is Sexual Addiction?

news and political links

  • Adbusters
  • Black Box Voting
  • blogging olbermann
  • Buzzflash
  • Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood
  • courthouse news
  • Current TV
  • Democracy Now
  • fight4thepeople (Mike Lucas)
  • Huffington Post
  • In These Times
  • Jesus' General
  • lefty blogs louisiana
  • Military Religious Freedom Foundation
  • National Lawyers Guild
  • one pissed off veteran
  • Planned Parenthood
  • Southern Poverty Law Center
  • the Smirking Chimp
  • Times Picayune (da paper)
  • Women in Media News

New Orleans links

  • A.D. (After the Deluge)
  • Acadian Memorial
  • American Experience - PBS
  • american zombie
  • ashley morris
  • bayou contessa
  • Bunny Matthews (Vic n Nat'ly)
  • Common Ground
  • Country Roads
  • Craig's List
  • Dirty Coast (t-shirt shop)
  • do not pass geaux
  • Faubourg St. John Neighborhood Assn.
  • food music justice
  • gathering of the tribes
  • gentilly girl
  • Greater New Orleans Living
  • Heather Elizabeth Designs (nostalgia)
  • humid city
  • humid haney
  • katrina film
  • Krewe du Vieux
  • l'art noir (Jeff and Andrea's gallery)
  • Levees.org
  • liprap's lament
  • Louisiana Landmarks Society
  • Mardi Gras 2008 schedule
  • Mardi Gras photos
  • Mardi Gras radio live
  • metroblogging new orleans
  • n'awlins
  • Naomi Kleine's Shock Doctrine
  • New Orleans Food Co-op
  • New Orleans History
  • new orleans nation
  • New Orleans News Ladder
  • nola food news
  • Nola Notes
  • NOLA tonight
  • NOLAfugees
  • OffBeat
  • Poppy Brite
  • Preservation Resource Center of New Orleans
  • Save our Cemeteries
  • silence is violence
  • Slow Food of New Orleans
  • squandered heritage
  • streetcar art
  • suspect device
  • thanks katrina
  • the chicory
  • The Creole Tomato
  • the daily kingfish
  • the g bitch spot
  • The Gambit
  • the mosquito coast
  • The New Orleans Levees
  • The Nostalgic New Orleans Collection
  • the past whispers (nostalgia)
  • the periphery
  • the Saavy Gourmet
  • Times Picayune (da paper)
  • toxic trailers
  • Unity New Orleans
  • we could be famous
  • Where Y'at
  • yat pundit

More Cool Links

  • Amish Grace
  • austin atheist
  • bio ephemera
  • Burpee seeds
  • Color of Change
  • copyranter (advertising)
  • CureZone
  • darkness to light (child molestation)
  • DNA Ancestry Project
  • electronic frontier foundation
  • Gardasil Vaccine: Women Hurty by Medicine
  • Gift From Within (PTSD)
  • Iraq Veterans Against the War
  • John Gotto on Compulsory "Education"
  • Killer Coke (union-busting, Columbia)
  • language log
  • Living the Scientific Life (GrrlScientist)
  • Mississippi Workers' Center
  • Monsanto Watch
  • Mother Earth News
  • my friend dave's place
  • National Film Board of Canada
  • Obama Scrapbook
  • Orwell's Diaries
  • PBS - American Porn
  • PTSD info
  • Reflections of Hope (rape recovery)
  • Republic of Lakota
  • Rev. Billy & the Church of Life After Shopping
  • Russell Means (Lakota Indians)
  • Seed Savers
  • Social Science Research Network
  • sociological images (contexts.org)
  • Spiritual Elders of Mother Earth
  • the death clock
  • the fourth world blog
  • Tim Wise, "White Like Me"
  • TV be gone
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Wal-Mart Watch
  • Wal-Mart Workers' Right
  • Wooster Collective (street art)
  • xian says

the real Mardi Gras

the real Mardi Gras

Judy Chicago's Merger Poem

And then all that has divided us will merge
And then compassion will be wedded to power
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind
And then both men and women will be gentle
And then both women and men will be strong
And then no person will be subject to another's will
And then all will be rich and free and varied
And then the greed of some will give way to the needs of many
And then all will share equally in the Earth's abundance
And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old
And then all will nourish the young
And then will cherish life's creatures
And then all will live in harmony with one another and the Earth
And then everywhere will be called Eden once again.
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