Who Says Cavemen Can't be Lawyers?

I bet those doodz from the GEICO commercials will be glad to hear it!

I am a law school girl (snatch, gunch, clam, whisker biscuit- pick your subject synonym).

Let's get one thing straight up front- I am not here to learn. I am here to prove something.

As you pretend to listen to me so that you can fuck me, I will probably tell you that either my uncle molested me or that I was raped when I was 15. I also never knew my father. I was high school class president, president of my sorority, student body president of my undergrad, a 4.0 student in my psychology major, maxed the LSAT, but chose UF because it is the cheapest for the best education. I also earned the money to pay for the brand new BMW that I drive (even though I am only 22). I am under-valued, overly-perfect, and haven't bothered to audition for American Idol because it would be unfair to the rest of the competition. I have tried every diet, perfect to the direction, but still can't lose the extra 5 lbs. stuck on my ass. However, I will pretend that the weight doesn't exist by sticking out my tits and dressing fashionable....

In the end, I am only really here to catch a good dickin', or hot beef injection. You see, my biological destiny is to whelp out a few puppies and use them as excuses as to why I never made it in the legal world. The law world is a man's world, and I will continue to remind people in class discussions that women make 75 cents on the dollar that a man makes, even though the areas of law I am concentrated in (Family, Pro Bono) are the lowest paying. And I will leave the workforce to shit out a few kids, feel my calling as a mother, stay out of work for 5 years, and then expect to come back as if I had never left (especially after my husband is sick of not getting blow jobs and trades me in for a newer and less-broken model). I figure that any guy that throws me a dick here will at least be on the hook for child support and will make enough money, by default, to pay me a modest monthly salary for purposely skipping my birth control the night he spent 200 bucks on me at the bar and then took me home. But I got Cosmos out of it, and Miranda and Charlotte love their Cosmos while out on socialite scene of 13th Ave.

I now find myself channeling Buzz Lightyear's pal Woody: you are a sad, sad little man.

Just the Two of Us

McCain / Bush love affair: the video, just in time for Valentine's!

Shakes has McCain's greatest hits. What a collection. And these are the people who were waving actual flip-flops around at their 2004 Convention.

Toni Morrison on wisdom

Dear Senator Obama, This letter represents a first for me--a public endorsement of a Presidential candidate. I feel driven to let you know why I am writing it. One reason is it may help gather other supporters; another is that this is one of those singular moments that nations ignore at their peril. I will not rehearse the multiple crises facing us, but of one thing I am certain: this opportunity for a national evolution (even revolution) will not come again soon, and I am convinced you are the person to capture it. May I describe to you my thoughts?

I have admired Senator Clinton for years. Her knowledge always seemed to me exhaustive; her negotiation of politics expert. However I am more compelled by the quality of mind (as far as I can measure it) of a candidate. I cared little for her gender as a source of my admiration, and the little I did care was based on the fact that no liberal woman has ever ruled in America . Only conservative or 'new-centrist' ones are allowed into that realm. Nor do I care very much for your race[s]. I would not support you if that was all you had to offer or because it might make me 'proud.' In thinking carefully about the strengths of the candidates, I stunned myself when I came to the following conclusion: that in addition to keen intelligence, integrity and a rare authenticity, you exhibit something that has nothing to do with age, experience, race or gender and something I don't see in other candidates. That something is a creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom. It is too bad if we associate it only with gray hair and old age. Or if we call searing vision naivete. Or if we believe cunning is insight. Or if we settle for finessing cures tailored for each ravaged tree in the forest while ignoring the poisonous landscape that feeds and surrounds it. Wisdom is a gift; you can't train for it, inherit it, learn it in a class, or earn it in the workplace--that access can foster the acquisition of knowledge, but not wisdom.

When, I wondered, was the last time this country was guided by such a leader? Someone whose moral center was un-embargoed? Someone with courage instead of mere ambition? Someone who truly thinks of his country's citizens as 'we,' not 'they'? Someone who understands what it will take to help America realize the virtues it fancies about itself, what it desperately needs to become in the world? Our future is ripe, outrageously rich in its possibilities. Yet unleashing the glory of that future will require a difficult labor, and some may be so frightened of its birth they will refuse to abandon their nostalgia for the womb.

There have been a few prescient leaders in our past, but you are the man for this time.

Good luck to you and to us.

Toni Morrison

"The Atlantic" on Hillary Clinton's campaign

Ouch!

More From the Police State

Police officers tip quadraplegic out of wheelchair (they thought he was faking!):

Shakes' Hillary Sexism Watch

Now up to part sixty-two!

This one really gets me. The folks at Unilever, who disingenuously produce both Dove ads telling girls it's okay to look like regular girls (here) and Axe ads in which pornalicious babes become animalistic sex fiends upon getting a whiff of the product (here and here and here and here and, especially, here) now produce a new ad in which their fab scent, oh-so overwhelming to the female will, causes Hillary Clinton to sport an "Obama 2008" pin.

For more on what Unilever is really about:

Free At Last!

Texas court overturns the state's ban on the sale or promotion of sex toys. Before, it was legal to possess either one or two vibrators, but any more than that was possession with intent to distribute, which was a crime. Now, there are no limits!

Molly Ivins (R.I.P.) on the lunacy that was the Texas sex toy law:

Pol Says It's Only Rape If She's a Virgin

From Feministing:

“Rape, ladies and gentlemen, is not today what rape was. Rape, when I was learning these things, was the violation of a chaste woman, against her will, by some party not her spouse. Today it’s simply, ‘Let’s don’t go forward with this act.’"

Wow, so Tennessee state senator Doug Henry remembers when rape used to be the violation of a real life virgin, but now it's just, "Let's not!" for any old body. Now, even us old whores and married chicks can say we were "raped." Imagine that! Ah, for the good old days, when rape meant a nice, pure virgin!

He and Bill Napoli (South Dakota state senator) remember the good ol' days:

A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.

Here's the video of Henry:

Telecomm Immunity Roll of Shame

Democrats who voted to give telecomm companies immunization against lawsuits for having violated people's civil rights:

Bayh, Inouye, Johnson, Landrieu, McCaskill, Ben Nelson, Bill Nelson, Stabenow, Feinstein, Kohl, Pryor, Rockefeller, Salazar, Carper, Mikulski, Conrad, Webb, and Lincoln

Disgusting. more at Salon

The Republicans march in lock-step, as usual, voting 0 to 49, while the Democrats split 31 to 18. Thanks, Mary frickin' Landrieu. You can always be counted on to line up with the other side. Will fellow Louisianians please once again remind me how lucky we are to have a Democrat in the Senate at all???

Eve Ensler on pro-Hillary Ultimatums

Ensler compares some recent "with us or against us" comments by some feminists to George Bush's similar comments following 9/11. Says V-Day founder Eve Ensler:

While paying respect to those women who carried the banner for so many years, these young women have reminded us that feminism is not static but evolutionary, changing in content, scope and tenor as new generations elevate their concerns and aspirations. And while we agree that this "either/or" brand of feminism fails to capture the imagination and hopes of countless numbers of women who refuse to entrust this capital into the hands of a candidate just because she is a woman, we think it important to add that this is not simply an intergenerational difference at work here. At issue is a profound difference in seeing feminism as intersectional and global rather than essentialist and insular. Women have grappled with these questions in every feminist wave, struggling to see feminism as something other than a "me too" bid for power whether it be in the family, the party, the race or the state.

For many of us, feminism is not separate from the struggle against violence, war, racism and economic injustice. Gender hierarchy and race hierarchy are not separate and parallel dynamics. The empowerment of women is contingent upon all these things. Despite the fact that we know that identity does not equal politics -- especially an antiwar, social equity and global justice politics -- we are led to believe that having a woman in power is the penultimate accomplishment. And even when the "either/or" feminists back off this claim in general, we are told, it is true in the case of the particular, Hillary Clinton. Experience and judgment go hand in hand, we are told, but one has to wonder how is it that so many ordinary citizens who were outside the beltway instinctively sensed what would come with the war, but the female candidate running for President did not?

For us, the choice at hand is actually quite simple. It is not about the woman candidate vs. the Black male candidate. It is about the candidate who works to dismantle the bomb, rather than drop it; the candidate who works to abolish the old paradigm of power, rather than covet and rise to its highest point; the candidate who seeks solutions and dialogue rather than retaliation and punishment. more

Thank you, Ms. Ensler. Back when Hillary Clinton voted for this war, I was protesting in the streets (the photo above is me, with the purple purse, with the kidlet, protesting the war, in front of the federal building in New Orleans). Some of us were at Camp Casey in '05:

Why wasn't Hillary Clinton one of "us" then? Why won't she at least join Kerry and Edwards in saying the war authorization vote was a mistake? Who is my sister?

Girls Rock

This looks awesome!

The Police State

Disgusting. A woman is assaulted by her cousin and has a bloody nose. She calls 911. The police end up arresting her. At the jail, she is pinned down and strippedy by seven police officers, including men.

Fun with Fundamentalists

McCain Reality Check

Oh my god. Funny and scary!



I don't know. That one doesn't quite work for me like the Obama one does.

Find the Superdelegates

Saturday's LA Results by Parish

Oh, Bless You, Carol Christ

So, perhaps I am not a traitor to feminism because I, in the end, just couldn't vote for Hillary.

From Women and Spirituality.

Why I Voted for Obama:

I am over 60 and a white woman. According to the statistics, I did not vote for Barack Obama.

For me, feminism has always been about much more than equal access for women to positions of power formerly open only to men. I believe and have always believed that feminism is about a revolution in values—about ending structures of domination upheld by violence that allow all men to dominate women and some men to dominate other men....

I did not vote for Hillary Clinton because she voted for the second Iraq War (and did not repudiate the first one). When Hillary tells us that she was mislead by President Bush and that if she had known then what she knows now she might have voted differently, I ask: Why didn’t she know then? I had listened to the news and I knew that the IAEA had not found evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and was asking for more time to carry out its inspections. I knew that war is almost never a solution and that its victims are overwhelmingly women, children and old people. I knew that rape is an ordinary tool of war. I knew that military training is based upon the idea of rooting out the empathy that ordinary people feel for one another. I had marched against other wars, and I marched against the impending Iraq war in Mytiline, Greece--along with millions of others around the world. Barack spoke out against the Iraq war when he was waging an uphill battle for the Senate and after he had been advised to keep his mouth shut. Apparently we knew something that Hillary Clinton didn’t. The fact that she didn’t know suggests to me that she will be quite capable of leading the nation into other ill-advised and unnecessary wars if she is elected....

I voted for Barack because I as a white woman have been more inspired by the vision he embodies and articulates than by the vision modeled by Hillary. When I look at Hillary, I see a woman who is telling me that if women try harder and compromise more, we just might make it to the White House. When I look at Barack, I see a man whose vision is steady, clear, uncompromising, and broad enough to include me and you and all of those less privileged than we have been in his vision of an America that can learn to care about “the least of these” again.

I would not be voting for Barack if I thought he didn’t include me and other women in his vision of a renewed America. I voted for Barack because he has been unwavering in his support for abortion rights, because he supports gay civil rights and unions, because he was strong enough to marry a strong woman and stay loyal to her, because he loved and admired his mother who was naive and exceedingly brave, and because I trust that he will not leave his two young daughters behind in the new world he hopes to create.

I voted for Barack because of his empathy for all of us.

Kerry: Title IX Came From Grass Roots

Kerry: Super Tuesday Is a Bad Idea

He's right. There's no way people in these states and the upcoming states are getting enough time with these candidates. Frustrating!

Father's Rights Dood Arrested for Domestic Violence

Father had said he was falsely accused of molesting his daughter by his vindictive estranged wife. He has since become an activist and writer helping other men disprove all those false accusations of child molestation and domestic violence. Now, however, he is again in trouble with the law after his wife called 9-1-1 during a violent attack.

Great Cartoon - Hillary's Useless Flag-Burning Amendment

Paper for Obama - "Bros Before Hos"

Total morons right here. Disgusting.

Notice they used that, but then put a grafittied note on top that said, "This is offensive."

Yeeeah - so why publish it??

Rapist Shows up Wearing Canival Mask

A woman put an ad on Craig's List to sell a baby stroller and ended up corresponding with a man online. He got her phone number (somehow), called to say that he was in crisis and asked if he could stay with her (he lived on St. Claude in New Orleans; she lived about 70 miles away in Covington).

He showed up in his Mardi Gras costume (so she couldn't see his face?) and forced her to use nitrous oxide and smoke marijuana with him. She escaped and got outside to use her cell phone to call police.

Here are the items the man had with him when police arrived:

When officers arrived, they found Goldstein in the residence wearing only trousers and bodypaint and with a bag full of whips, chains, a sex toy and handcuffs, West said. The officers also discovered a canister the victim said contained nitrous
oxide. She told police that they had smoked all of Goldstein's marijuana, West said.
West said the officer on the scene told him, "I opened the door and this Oompa-Loompa is standing there," referring to the brightly-colored characters from "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." While searching the mans car, they discovered its trunk was packed with hay and contained two hula hoops and another whip, West said. more

(Yes, the original article from "Da Paper" really did say "searching the mans car." I've given up writing to them demanding that they find a decent editor. Last time I got a snippy reply.)

Mardi Gras Justice

I shouldn't laugh at a bead injury, but I can't help it.

About halfway through, a rider was trying to toss some kids next to me a stuffed gator and I cruelly snatched it out of the air before they got it. As I looked to Romy for some sort of approval for my action, I was pelted in the face with a set of long pearls. I looked back at the rider who was scowling at me. Then he threw the kids another toy.
here

Next time I want a Muses shoe or a Zulu coconut, I want to be standing right next to Butterfingers Henderson:

I noticed that my catching wass off out there. I kept dropping throws. I felt like a Saints wide receiver.

Olbermann calls O'Reilly Out

1. John Edwards said that on the way to the Ninth Ward to make his withdrawal speech, he spoke to a homeless person.

2. Bill O'Reilly didn't believe there were homeless under a bridge in New Orleans.

3. Keith Olbermann sets the record straight, as only Olbermann can:

For the Love of the Game: Covering Up Rape to Win

"Via SAFER comes this stomach-turning story from the Seattle Times about the violent history of the University of Washington football team and the way that UW has worked to cover up their crimes for the sake of winning games."

read more digg story

Super Bowl - Frist and Carville Share a Coke

Okay, I thought this was funny:

Feminist Read

"Women of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them" by Dale Spender

I need to add a reading list to this blog at some point. There's just so much!

Female equity ombudsman gets lower pay

Sweden's new Equal Opportunities Ombudsman, who is a woman, is to receive a considerably lower salary than her predecessor, who was a man. One of the ombudsman's main tasks is to actively encourage employers to give equal pay to employees who perform the same tasks, regardless of gender or ethnicity, but she is getting 17 percent less.

read more digg story

Lower 9th has friend from Maine

Another angel:

The first time I saw Rick Prose, he was hammering on Roy Bradley s roof in the Lower 9th Ward. That was 11 months ago, when all he had in mind was helping Roy and his wife, Danielle, rebuild their house.

read more digg story