Monday, November 30, 2009

Popped In and Already Feel the Energy

I left blogging for a year. I didn't plan to, but I have been ill. Some of the pain medications I am on have left me cotton-headed, and I haven't really had much worth saying. I came back tonight though, when I felt lonely and like I was having a real meltdown - not unusual this past year, but tonight I just happened to end up here. I am still not clear-headed enough tonight to absorb all of what I've read as I've scanned the old familiar feminist blogs, but honest to goddess, energy and strength have come to me from the powerful women on my feminist blogroll (as well as a male blogger who has always been very supportive), straight through the computer. Thanks for visiting me tonight, even though you didn't know you did. Thanks for sharing your strength with me when I've been in desperate need, even though you didn't even know you were sharing. I love all of you - mushy or not, I don't give a fuck. Life is too damn short to hold back on the love - so I've been learning - and so I say again, I love all of you. I should have come back sooner. I have a hunch it would have aided my healing.

I have also discovered Facebook and am in contact with about five of my best friends from high school. We have all sorts of reunions planned. I just have to work out some possible physical limitations on travel, but I think I will manage. It is all so good for my spirit.

I am the most relaxed I have been in a long time right now, more relaxed than the anti-anxiety and pain meds ever made me. Ah, what a wonderful deeepppp breath!

Be well. Bright blessings. And thank you again.


Anonymous said...

I am so, so sorry that things have been so awful for you. I have miss you a lot.
I am sending all my best wishes and will be in touch very soon, lots of love Rebecca.

NOLA radfem said...

Thanks. Missed you too. Your work is inspiring. I want to catch up on your writing at your site. It looks like your healing journey has been going in fits and starts, same as mine. I've been in therapy and - ugh - sometimes the therapy makes it temporarily worse, like picking at an old wound, you know? So, anyway, if it goes in fits and starts for you, I can certainly relate. Hang in there. We will get better. WE are getting stronger. Nobody - no abuser past or present - can take that away from us now.