Thursday, December 17, 2009

Cheating Husbands' Bingo Card

I wonder why this comes out with a huge space at the top. Damn you, HTML (shakes fist)

I made a terrible mistake. It was a lapse in moral judgment.

You're too controlling / sickly / busy.

Everyone knows I love my wife, who is beautiful / smart / the best.

It was so flattering. I couldn't help it.

I guess I wasn't sure I wanted to be married anymore.

I fucked her, but I didn't love her.

I thought I loved her, but I didn't fuck her.

You know you're the only one for me, baby.

I guess I thought I just didn't deserve you.

Well, she wanted it. I kind of felt sorry for her.

I guess I was jealous that you were becoming so successful.

Really, my family means everything to me.

“I don't know …”

It only happened once.

I don't know why it happened. I only know it won't happen again.

It isn't you baby, it's me.

This is the first time it's ever happened.

I was drunk / stoned / sad / lonely / depressed.

I didn't feel close to you since the baby came / your mother died / you started school.

It has nothing to do with our life together.

I guess I was starting to feel old. It was flattering.

I tried breaking it off, but she kept calling me, like "Fatal Attraction."

I had her hang out with us so she could see how happily married I am.

You KNEW our marriage was unhappy at the time. What did you expect?

Hey, wait, it's sexist for you to point out that all the men you know have done it!

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