Scotland on Rape - "No, Not Ever"

Transcript:

A scene of a party. A pale blond woman in her 20s stands talking to two men, one pale and one with darker skin. She wears a black top and sparkly blue skirt, and all parties hold drinks in their hands and appear to be having a good time.

Woman: (laughing playfully) You’re terrible! (laughs) You’re so bad! Shut up!

Cut to two presumably white men across the room.

Man One: (looks at woman, sucks in air between his teeth) Check out the skirt! She’s asking for it.

Man Two: (laughs)

Cut to scene of the same woman in a department store. She pulls two skirts off the rack, one the sparkly blue skirt she wears at the party, and takes turns holding up each one to her hips. A sales assistant, a pale middle-aged woman, walks up to her.

Sales Assistant: Can I help?

Woman: Yeah, thanks. I’m going out tonight and I want to get raped. (smiles) I need a skirt that will encourage a guy to have sex with me against my will. (holds up each skirt again)

Sales Assistant: (smiles eagerly and folds arms across chest) The blue one. Definitely the blue.

Woman: (nods and smiles)

Woman turns and directly faces camera, with a sarcastic look on her face.

Woman: As if.

Male Voiceover: Nobody asks to be raped. Ever.

more at The Curvature

Women Must Prevent Rape - NOT!!!

When it comes to popular messages about sexual violence, many of us are treated to a (un)healthy dose of fear – in the guise of awareness and self-protection. You know the drill: don’t walk alone; don’t drink too much; avoid certain streets; be wary of strangers. . . the list goes on. One of the troubling things about these messages is the way they imply that one just needs street smarts and savvy to prevent sexual assault. (Another problematic aspect of these messages is the way they shift attention away from the fact that the majority of assaults are perpetrated by a victim’s acquaintance, friend, or partner; these ubiquitous stay-safe tips don’t mean much when it comes to people you already believe you should trust. Then there’s the fact that plenty of folks don’t have the option of not, say, commuting to and from work late at night or avoiding areas where they might be vulnerable to crime.) Moreover, the notion that we can reliably prevent being assaulted dovetails neatly with victim-blaming after the fact: “she/he really shouldn’t gone out there without a friend”; “it probably wouldn’t have happened if she/he hadn’t been drinking to excess”; “what was she/he thinking, going to a party in that neighborhood”

"Protect Yourself?"

Sharron Angle UGH

Really?

Sharron Angle, the Nebraska Nevada Republican Senate candidate who recently made headlines when a radio interview was unearthed in which she opposed legal abortion even in case of rape/incest because "God has a plan" (and your assault is part of it), has caught media attention again for her advice to 13-year-old incest victims to just make lemons into lemonade.

The Huffington Post reports that, during an interview on the conservative Alan Stock Show, Angle was asked what she would say to a 13-year-old incest victim who became pregnant by her father's rape. Angle's response? She says she counsels teenagers facing "very at risk, difficult pregnancies" to just look about for alternatives, and when they do, "they found that they had made what was really a lemon situation into lemonade."

I don't think "lemon situation" accurately describes the unfathomable situation of a young girl who has been raped and impregnated by her own father — a situation that would be made even worse if Angle had her way and the girl was subjected by law to forced pregnancy. Angle's flippant, clichéd comparison shows how out-of-touch she is. You can survive a traumatic situation, move on with your life, but that doesn't make child rape a "lemons into lemonade" situation. There is no "upside" to being raped as a child, especially by your own father.

"Raped by Dad? Just Turn Lemons Into Lemonade!"

Effects of Street Harassment

We have recently moved to a big city. My sixteen year old daughter is afraid of taking public transportation, which I had THOUGHT would be so liberating for her after four years stuck in a tiny town, because of the way men treat her on the street.

And it is a big deal, it’s a big thing. Don’t minimize it. What, are we just supposed to accept that we have breasts and asses for the purpose of immature men to ogle at and touch without asking? Is that supposed to be something that’s just ‘okay’ with us because ‘that’s the way it is’? Fuck no. I’m not asking the moon and stars here.

"Why Even Street Sexual Harassment is Hard to Get Over"

The Lady With the Answers

For years, I have struggled in a bad marriage, trying to stick it out because I believed morality and ethics required it. Even if he never stuck to HIS vows, I felt obliged to stick to mine. This piece is quite liberating for me.

An obligation, rather than a choice. Who you spend the majority of your time with, who you are legally bound to, who it is very difficult and time-consuming and stressful for you to become un-bound to, is an obligation. You HAVE to stay in it, because it’s fucking difficult to get out. Marriage is something like a tarpit, but when you want to escape, society bands around you, holding sticks and pushing your head back under. You’re a FAILURE if you want to get out of a marriage. You FAILED the system, dude. You got MARRIED, remember? Ever after? ‘Til death do us part’? Those were YOUR words, you chose (haha) to say them. NO TAKE-BACKS. Sorry! What, you want to change your mind? That ain’t allowed! You’re OBLIGED now, muthafucker! We got you GOOD! Hey, we had someone recording the whole thing! And you signed! With your own hands! We got a signature, and a photo of you making it, and you look pretttty fucking happy about the whole thing. Who spends a year planning something they’re just gonna back out of a few years later? A LOSER that’s who. Do you want to be a loser? Nah…didn’t think so…get back in your tarpit and we’ll speak of this to no more.

"Infinite Relationships; Obligations"

Love This

Love this!

Via the Carnival Against Sexual Violence:

These are all fairly minor events but they each illustrate this assumption that men believe it is okay for them to touch a woman, to grip her hands, to pressure her into going with them to wherever they want to go. This sort of mentality, that of control, is the first step, the beginnings of the idea that men should be able to tell women what to do, they should be allowed sex, they should have access to women’s bodies whenever they want.

more at

"So I'm Pretty. That Doesn't Obligate me to Sleep With You"

What Tami Said: Social capital and denying the pain of black women

This is SOOO good. I hope you will read it! Plleeeezzzz!

What Tami Said: Social capital and denying the pain of black women

abyss2hope: 7 Simple Responses Which Help Support An Anti-Rape Culture

abyss2hope: 7 Simple Responses Which Help Support An Anti-Rape Culture

Marcella has seven great responses. Very sharp!

Texas Removes Thomas Jefferson From Teaching Standard - AOL News

Texas Removes Thomas Jefferson From Teaching Standard - AOL News

Speechless. Truly speechless!

By dropping mention of revolution, and substituting figures such as Aquinas and Calvin for Jefferson, Texas Freedom Network argues, the board had chosen to embrace religious teachings over those of Jefferson, the man who coined the phrase "separation between church and state."

According to USA Today, the board also voted to strike the word "democratic" from references to the U.S. form of government, replacing it with the term "constitutional republic." Texas textbooks will contain references to "laws of nature and nature's God" in passages that discuss major political ideas.

The board decided to use the words "free enterprise" when describing the U.S. economic system rather than words such as "capitalism," "capitalist" and "free market," which it deemed to have a negative connotation.

Serving 4.7 million students, Texas accounts for a large percentage of the textbook market, and the new standards may influence what is taught in the rest of the country.

Guess One Need Not be Too Bright to Get Into Princeton!

The real 'Sex on a Saturday Night' - The Daily Princetonian

Did she have the right to accuse the boy of rape? Before you say yes, think about this for a minute: Should the fact that she willingly got herself into an advanced state of inebriation prevent her from complaining about anything that happened to her while she was in that state?

She knew what would happen if she started drinking. We all know that the more people drink, the less likely they are to make wise decisions. It is common sense.

Therefore, the girl willingly got herself into a state in which she could not act rationally. This, in my opinion, is equivalent to agreeing to anything that might happen to her while in this state. In the case of our girl, this happened to be sex with a stranger.

This brings up another question: Why is the guy always to blame? Since the beginning of time, society has taught us that whenever a situation like this arises, the fault belongs almost entirely to the male participant.

Since the beginning of time, it has been the male's fault? ON WHAT PLANET, SISTER? No, blame has always been assigned to the woman.

Also,
girl drinks: expect to get raped:: boy drinks: expect to be assaulted or even murdered

Girls Gone Anti-Feminist -- In These Times

Girls Gone Anti-Feminist -- In These Times

This may be the best analysis of "fun feminism" I have yet read. This is REALLY good!

Enlightened sexism sells the line that it is precisely through women’s calculated deployment of their faces, bodies, attire, and sexuality that they gain and enjoy true power— power that is fun, that men will not resent, and indeed will embrace. True power here has nothing to do with economic independence or professional achievement: it has to do with getting men to lust after you and other women to envy you. Enlightened sexism is especially targeted to girls and young women and emphasizes that now that they “have it all,” they should focus the bulk of their time and energy on being hot, pleasing men, competing with other women, and shopping.

Enlightened sexism is a manufacturing process that is constantly produced by the media. Its components—anxiety about female achievement; renewed and amplified objectification of young women’s bodies and faces; dual exploitation and punishment of female sexuality; dividing of women against each other by age, race and class; and rampant branding and consumerism—began to swirl around in the early 1990s, consolidating as the dark star it has become in the early 21st century....

This essay was adapted from Susan J. Douglas’ new book, Enlightened Sexism: The Seductive Message that Feminism’s Work is Done (Times Books, March).

Finally, A Push-Up Panty for the Penis (NSFW)

Finally, A Push-Up Panty for the Penis (NSFW)

No, seriously!

Former Obama Adviser: Why Is Administration So Unassertive?

Former Obama Adviser: Why Is Administration So Unassertive?

[T]he Obama Administration seemed to try [] to mobilize by depolarizing... it seemed like an effort to compromise your way to deep reform. I've never seen that that has ever worked in the history of this country, and I doubt anywhere, because it's a contradiction. So, on the one hand, the administration was not being clear, aggressive...as it had been in the campaign...and more culpably, the leadership of the reform movements, the people who were fighting for health care, for labor law reform, for environmental reform, for immigration reform, all bought in to this strategy. They all bought into "let Obama do it. He knows what he's doing."

That has been me all this time. I think I'm going to throw up now.

America's Deadliest Sweetener Betrays Millions, Then Hoodwinks You With Name Change

America's Deadliest Sweetener Betrays Millions, Then Hoodwinks You With Name Change

Sugar industry awaits decision that could ban planting of GMO crop - Fargo, ND

Sugar industry awaits decision that could ban planting of GMO crop - Fargo, ND

More Than 200,000 NGOs, Farmers, Consumers, and Organic Producers Call for USDA to Prohibit Genetica

More Than 200,000 NGOs, Farmers, Consumers, and Organic Producers Call for USDA to Prohibit Genetica

Little Girls Wear Whisks

Little Girls Wear Whisks

Obama warns progressives

Obama warns progressives "We will go down in Flames"

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Stop Monsanto's GMO

Please sign the online petition to block Monsanto's application to produce genetically modified alfalfa:

This conclusion came despite the acknowledgment by USDA researchers that GE alfalfa is virtually certain to "contaminate" normal seeds. Cross-contamination is the number one concern with genetically engineered crops.

Organic contamination is devastating for organic farmers, especially organic dairy farmers, most of whom use organic alfalfa for feed. The presence of even the smallest amount of GE material can cause a farm to lose its organic certification. And court documents indicate that early plantings of GE alfalfa did contaminate conventional alfalfa. Yet the USDA maintains that Monsanto's existing safety protocols are good enough. This is ridiculous!

Coach Payton the prankster

NFL combine, overtime change proposal, Mike McGuire, more - Peter King - SI.com

I smell a nice rivalry cooking.

On Friday night, the Saints' staff at the combine gathered in a private room at St. Elmo Steakhouse, an 108-year-old Indy landmark, for a final celebratory nod to the Super Bowl win over the Colts. This is a group that likes its wine, and likes to have fun.

At the restaurant, word passed that Dallas owner Jerry Jones would have his Dallas group in this exact room Saturday night for a team dinner. Jones had even phoned ahead, according to a waiter, to make sure a magnum of a wine he loved, Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon, was ready to be served at dinner.

Sean Payton told the waiter he'd like to have that wine, too. The waiter told him: Sorry, sir. We have only one bottle left, and it's reserved for Mr. Jones.

Payton said he'd like to have the bottle nonetheless. I assume there was much angst on the part of the wait staff at that point. My God! Who do we piss off? One of the most powerful owners in the NFL, or the coach who's the toast of the NFL, the coach who just won the Super Bowl?

Here came the bottle of Caymus Special Selection, and the Saints' party drained it.

But drinking Jones' wine wasn't enough. Payton gave the waiter some instructions, took out his pen ... and, well, the Cowboys party found at the middle of their table the next evening an empty magnum of Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon, with these words hand-written on the fancy label:

WHO DAT!
World Champions XLIV
Sean Payton

That's the kind of thing Jones will get a big laugh out of. And remember.

President Obama Declares Irish-American Heritage Month

my great, great grandparents, Tobias Mullen and Margaret Kearney

original:

A PROCLAMATION

From long before American independence to today, countless individuals have reached our shores, bringing vibrant cultures and diverse roots, and immeasurably enriching our Nation. This month, we honor the contributions made by the tens of millions of Americans who trace their heritage to the Emerald Isle.

Irish Americans fought for our independence, and their signatures adorn our founding documents. When famine ravaged Ireland in the 1840s and 1850s, many Irish men and women sought a new beginning in the United States. Though they faced poverty and discrimination, these immigrants transformed our cities, served in our Armed Forces, and settled the frontiers of our young Nation. Their children, and succeeding generations of Irish Americans, have preserved their culture's values while becoming leaders in every facet of American life.

During this year's Irish-American Heritage Month, we also celebrate an extraordinary Irishman: Senator Edward M. Kennedy. Throughout his career in public service, Senator Kennedy worked tirelessly to create opportunity for all Americans. His legacy lives on in the legislation he championed, which will bolster and protect the health, education, and civil rights of Americans for generations to come.

Across the Atlantic, the people of Ireland continue to confront their own challenges with resolve and determination. In the face of violence perpetuated by some -- testing a hard-earned peace -- the people of Northern Ireland have responded heroically. Undaunted, they and their leaders persist on the road to peace and prosperity enshrined over a decade ago in the Good Friday Agreement. The United States remains committed to supporting the political process and the work of those who have shown leadership in pursuit of a lasting peace.

Today, the sons and daughters of Erin can look back with pride on their many contributions to the civic and cultural life of America. Like so many of our Nation's ethnic communities, Irish Americans are a people whose hard work and resilience have brought them great opportunity and success, and whose service to our Nation has left it a better place.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States do hereby proclaim March 2010 as Irish-American Heritage Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month by celebrating the contributions of Irish American to our Nation with appropriate ceremonies and activities.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA

my great grandmother, Catherine Caroline Mullen (right)

We were always taught to be proud of be Irish. We are French too, but we were taught to be VERY proud of being Irish

the Mullen family tomb in Lafayette #1, where Robert Mullen, first Irishman in my family to arrive here, is buried, as are my great grandparents

Pamphlets Tell Women "Ungodly" Dress Provokes Rape

original story

In Tri-Cities, Washington, religious fundamentalists are handing out pamphlets telling women that their "ungodly" dress provokes rape. What century is this again? I get so confused....

A lady sitting in the backseat leaned forward, between the two men in front, and handed her a leaflet: “Women & Girls” it said across the top.

“Even though nothing is showing, you’re being ungodly,” Canter recalled the woman telling her. “You make men want to be sinful.”

Canter was wearing boots pulled up over jeans, a pink zebra-print shirt with a black jacket zipped up over it. She has blond hair, dark eye make-up and a little red lip ring. “I just asked if she needed any salt, pepper or ketchup,” Canter said. “I mean, how do I respond to that?”

Minutes later, Canter’s mother, Pam Yates, who owns the restaurant, returned from the bank. Canter handed her “Women & Girls” and Yates started reading.

“You may have been given this leaflet because of the way you are dressed,” it begins. “Have you thought about standing before the true and living God to be judged?”

It continues with one essential theme: The sins of men are, in part, the fault of women, specifically women in tight-fitting clothing. Yates was annoyed. Then she got to a section on page two:

“Scripture tells us that when a man looks on a woman to lust for her he has already committed adultery in his heart. If you are dressed in a way that tempts a men to do this secret (or not so secret) sin, you are a participant in the sin,” the leaflet states. “By the way, some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly. So can we really say they were innocent victims?”

The hand-out is signed “anonymous.”

Yates was angry.

“What if my daughter had been a rape victim?” she said. “I hope that they never handed this to anyone, especially a young person, who’s been through that and struggles with that daily. And then they get handed something that says they are at fault. I cannot believe that a Christian, someone who walks in God’s shoes, would have made this.”

Leaflet in hand, Yates locked eyes with the old man driving the old white car, still parked in the lot, and stormed outside. The car quickly drove away.

Sandra G. Rasnake, the sexual assault program director at Bristol’s Crisis Center, had one eyebrow cocked as she read through the leaflet Thursday morning.

She cocked the other as she read aloud: “some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly.”

“Wow,” she said. “This idea that men don’t have enough self control – and evidently they shouldn’t have to – plays into all the old myths that we’ve tried for years to overcome: Rape happens to 2-year-olds and 92-year-olds, not just attractive young women. How about we hold the person doing the action accountable, whoever it is going against the will and consent of somebody else?”

more at link

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on TED.com

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl Video on TED.com

WONDERFUL, EVE!

I Wonder How Much Laundry the Average Team USA Dad Will Do?

via sociological images, which I LOOOVE.

Tide laundry detergent company wonders how much laundry the average TEAM USA mom will do. Those of us who are into gender equality think....

I Wonder How Much Laundry the Average Team USA dad Will Do?

Cupcakes for Men. No, Seriously. Cupcakes for Men.

Cupcakes for Men. No, Seriously. Cupcakes for Men.

Unbelievable. Everything has to be certified masculine (sort of like certified organic) before men can join in.

Making Hate Fun: Facebook users continue to joke en mass about killing

Making Hate Fun: Facebook users continue to joke en mass about killing “hookers”

Posted using ShareThis

Pam's House Blend:: Federal Appeals Court: Louisiana Must Recognize Out of State Gay Adoption

Pam's House Blend:: Federal Appeals Court: Louisiana Must Recognize Out of State Gay Adoption

Yes, I seem to remember something from my Constitutional Law class about the "full faith and credit" clause.

The Opinuary Column

The Opinuary Column

Very, very funny. I've just discovered the "Jesus' General" blog and I love it!

Homosexualists Over The Wire

Homosexualists Over The Wire

Great, great!

Want!

Department of Book Reports: A Twisted Faith

Womanist Musings

Womanist Musings

I (still) hate racist, sexist PETA. Aretha Franklin as "bigfoot?" REALLY? PETA has a LONG history of this kind of stuff. PETA just loooves animals, but apparently they hate women.

Defying adversity, wherever we are: a guest column by Richard Campanella | Opinions - - NOLA.com

Defying adversity, wherever we are: a guest column by Richard Campanella Opinions - - NOLA.com


Cheering in Paris when the Saints won? Really? My mom told me a few years ago that in Paris, people were, as has often been reported, snobs to those who do not speak French but once Parisians realized she was from New Orleans, their attitude changed to friendly and welcoming. I guess, with our being a former French colony, they still kind of regard us as one of theirs.

Drew Brees as Bacchus

Economic Scene - Success of Stimulus Bill Is Noteworthy as Another Is Weighed - NYTimes.com

Finally!

Economic Scene - Success of Stimulus Bill Is Noteworthy as Another Is Weighed - NYTimes.com:

"Imagine if, one year ago, Congress had passed a stimulus bill that really worked.

Let’s say this bill had started spending money within a matter of weeks and had rapidly helped the economy. Let’s also imagine it was large enough to have had a huge impact on jobs — employing something like two million people who would otherwise be unemployed right now.
If that had happened, what would the economy look like today?

Well, it would look almost exactly as it does now. Because those nice descriptions of the stimulus that I just gave aren’t hypothetical. They are descriptions of the actual bill."

Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation

Emotional abuse is Heart and Soul Mutilation

Wonderful article on emotional abuse.

"Shaming and Blaming"

"Shaming and Blaming" via the "this ain't living blog." Really good! My big thing was that we were always told to "sit like a lady." This meant keeping one's knees together, of course, I would like to know why now, today, at a movie theater, my husband spreads his legs wide open and invades my space while I make myself smaller and smaller. I read some analysis that said the whole concept of space - where women are encouraged to take up as little as possible, while men take up as much as they want - is actually all about power.

Sam Cooke and the Saints!

It's been a looong time coming!

Great Mardi Gras Indian stuff

Out of towners, I hope you enjoy!

great videos

What Have we Learned Today?

Today, we learned that not everyone is like my fellow sociological bloggers and me. Much-liked old friends from high school may not enjoy a discussion like the ones we have here on their facebook pages. Hmmm - should I put up a new label called "live and learn?"

And a big fuck you to my depression

This song has always reminded me to enjoy being me - even if I'm not exactly everyone's cup of tea (oh, pardon me, even if I've drunk the Obama Kool-Aid - fucker). Yep, to be ME despite self-doubt, to let my little light shine, no matter what the haters, as my daughter would put it, say or do.

What Tami Said: Lady Antebellum and the glorification of the pre-Civil War South

I (heart) Tami. Just sayin'.

What Tami Said: Lady Antebellum and the glorification of the pre-Civil War South

I could, however, do without some of the generalizations about southern whites that show up in her comments section, but I've run into that A LOT, and that certainly isn't Tami's fault. She ALWAYS manages to make you think and to make a great point, but without stereotyping all whites - Southern or otherwise - either.

Men Have No Genitals; Women are Genitals Only

Very interesting.

Men Have No Genitals; Women are Genitals Only