|I made a terrible mistake. It was a lapse in moral judgment.||You're too controlling / sickly / busy.||Everyone knows I love my wife, who is beautiful / smart / the best.||It was so flattering. I couldn't help it.||I guess I wasn't sure I wanted to be married anymore.|
|I fucked her, but I didn't love her.||I thought I loved her, but I didn't fuck her.||You know you're the only one for me, baby.|
I guess I thought I just didn't deserve you.
Well, she wanted it. I kind of felt sorry for her.
|I guess I was jealous that you were becoming so successful.||Really, my family means everything to me.|
“I don't know …”
|It only happened once.||I don't know why it happened. I only know it won't happen again.|
|It isn't you, baby, it's me.||This is the first time it's ever happened.||I was drunk / stoned / sad / lonely / depressed.||I didn't feel close to you since the baby came / your mother died / you started school.||It has nothing to do with our life together.|
|I guess I was starting to feel old. It was flattering.||I tried breaking it off, but she kept calling me, like "Fatal Attraction."|
I had her hang out with us so she could see how happily married I am.
|You KNEW our marriage was unhappy at the time. What did you expect?||Hey, wait, it's sexist for you to point out that all the men you know have done it!|
(with credit to Hoyden About Town, who did the "anti-feminist bingo" games.)