Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Addressing The Issue Of My Middle Name

Some Republican operatives are insisting that Barack Hussein Obama needs to "address" the "issue" of his middle name.

Furthermore, during last night's presidential debate, Hillary Clinton insisted that Barack Obama's denunciation of Louis Farakhan was insufficient, demanding that he "reject" Farakhan as well as "denounce" him - which Obama did.

As a supporter of Barack Hussein Obama's, I feel it's only fair that I offer the same disclosure expected of my candidate.

And so, in the interest of full disclosure, I need to say, right here on my blog, that, yes, my middle name is indeed "Kaye." I don't know if my parents were trying to prove what intellectuals they were by spelling out a letter of the alphabet or what. I do know that they were ordinary New Orleanians, stationed in Alabama at the time of my birth, so maybe they were trying to get a little too fancy-schmanzy with that spelling, stretching a humble single letter into four. Or maybe they were trying to show pride in the culture of that particular time and place with their choice of such a strange, bland, monosyllabic, apparently Anglophylic name. Please be assured that had I been consulted about the issue at the time - and had I been lingual - I might have lobbied for a different choice. This election, however, needs to be not about the the desires of the parents of a newborn over forty years ago, but rather about the dreams and futures of the American people. I had hoped that at long last we were at a point in American history where we could be judged not by the letters filled in on our birth certificates but by the content of our character. Alas, our time may not yet have come.

Also, I am hearing rumblings about my middle name reminding some observers of Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Although we share a name, a mere one letter apart just like Osama and Obama, I hereby denounce and reject her Republican policies. I also denounce and reject the religiosity of the Mary Kay cosmetics company.

If I have left out any other "Kayes" whose values do not reflect those espoused on this blog, please let me know. I will denounce them and then, if that still isn't enough, I am even willing to reject them.

Finally, I'm sure there have been at least a few people over the years who wanted to be my friend but who I thought were creepy, just as Senator Obama apparently feels about Louis Farakhan. I would confess their names if only I could remember them, but the truth is that I just didn't realize I would someday be responsible for them. If anyone has any dirt on me regarding creepy would-be friends I've rejected, let me know and I will be happy to denounce them and their beliefs. If that isn't enough, I will even reject them - again.

Thank you for your continuing support. I look forward to further serving you this important election season.